January Blues

Despite the title of this post, I am not going to rant in depression, I promise!

I just think its so funny when, every year, without fail, I get all excited for winter - I ache for cold snappy weather and long for Autumn and Christmastime (as anyone who has the patience to keep up with my blog will remember from last AUGUST lol) - and I even think to myself, maybe I should have lived up North... maybe I'm not a total Southern girl after all...

This wistfulness lasts till about 3-4 weeks after Christmas, and then... suddenly... without warning... I catch myself dreaming about the beach.

I started yesterday... so I'm ahead of my typical schedule. I can only suppose that is partly due to my feverish excitement for March 1st to get here as soon as possible, and with it my Early Spring Baby.

This is me daydreaming and flipping through Jason's pictures on his phone of our Beachy honeymoon last year:

I mean, I have started getting these little visions in my head of 70 degree mornings (I will never be such a Southerner that I would actually enjoy anything above 88, tops), running early to beat the heat, ocean breezes, picnics, planning exciting little vacations, warm rain showers, sundresses galore, RayBans, strappy little flipflops, reading Breakfast at Tiffany's (I ALWAYS read this late Spring/early Summer)...

...its the best book to read laying out by the pool. I think its because it has that perfectly beautiful hazy quality to it… like a hangover with no headache and no need to go anywhere or do anything that requires you to “snap out of it”. You can just wear sunglasses with no makeup and a thin, plain little dress like Holly Golightly and feel lovely. Or you can lay in bed til noon wearing a fabulous sleep mask.

I can’t wait to be grilling dinner, drinking in that first week of evenings where the sun doesn't go down for forever; the taste of watermelons and the smell of chlorine, oh! I sound like a complete fool!

I have a favorite memory from about 2 years ago that always evokes this haunting desire for summer and the ocean in particular… it was the end of Junior year at Belmont Abbey, Spring semester. I had a huge paper that was due the next day, so I was all geared up for an all-nighter. I had a sweet little room in the Raphael Arthur dorms – it was old and peaceful and quiet. I had scavenged for about 5 lamps so the lighting was always mellow and homey, and I kept the windows open whenever possible. This particular evening my suitemates were all busy in their own rooms too, so I tried my best to focus on the paper. A sip of Diet Coke every 15 minutes helped ☺. Hearing the crickets and spring bugs chirping outside, I started thinking about the summer break that was coming so soon; and about my boyfriend (now husband) in Charleston, and before I knew it I was surfing the internet for pictures of the beach. Any beach.

That was the night I downloaded GoogleEarth (and I think started the process that crashed my overloaded laptop) just so I could see images of the coast around South Carolina. It was so eery and awesome to see the shelf of white beach under the waves, and then a drop-off into the depths of the Atlantic Ocean. I remember I was listening to Falling Up on my iTunes; most of you have probably not heard of them – its this obscure semi-Christian, mostly alternative rock band that has a very unique sound which my brother Moses and I have determined is like a "deep water" sound. You have to hear it to understand. Especially the song "Contact". But don’t judge me for the lyrics – they are totally out there! Anyways… it just somehow “made” a moment for me. I will never forget that all-nighter. And I did get a good grade on the paper, miraculously enough!

Do you ever feel as though life is like that? … it seems to hum gently along in a dull blur, and then there are these vivid moments and hours that stand out in your memory forever – often for no particular reason that you can put your finger on.

I suppose I need to try to live near the Coast after all. More on living places in my next post. ☺ Happy New Year!

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