Going Not Public.

I haven't been not blogging cause I'm "Too busy" - I have instantly hated myself everytime I have used that pretentious excuse! - I guess I felt my privacy invaded. So! Rather than lose opportunities to chronicle the adventures, I'm reclaiming that privacy - that feeling of being a content little drop in a big bucket - that feeling that no one is listening except for the people who really want to.  I'm taking my blog off the map.

What I have created here the last 4 years is a place I can be transparent, vulnerable, reflective, and open. I have shared some incredibly intimate things about my marriage, my family, my friendship with God. But it felt so natural to do so here that I never realized how intimate they were until recently; my job now takes me all over the internet, and I find myself connecting to new clients daily via twitter and Instagram. This is a weird, wild world. 
Anyway - while I admire the souls who can continue blissfully on in their self-expression knowing anyone could be watching... I somehow can't bring myself to continue to write about my evolving lovestory with Jason, the challenges and personalities of my children, the things I think about while I'm running, the ways my God keeps my feet on the ground.  And all the poop, of course.

Whether it's called-for or not, I have no clue - quite possibly any clients/coworkers who have clicked on my blog address out of curiosity glanced at it for a hot minute and moved right along - but everytime I've wanted to share a recent outpouring or surge or lightbulb moment here - I have felt shy and self-conscious. Makes me all the more admiring of the big time bloggers out there who just do it
I think if you are following me on blogger/google you will not be blocked out of the blog - but please let me know if you are! I cherish you people, you friends I have made here, you ever-charitable, tolerant few ;).  I want to keep sharing with you and hearing your thoughts which I have come to respect so very much.  
NOTE: I was wrong - it appears that if you want to be a member of the private blog, you have to be personally invited via email. Comment with your email address and I will happily include you! Or email me yourself if you don't want your information down there :).

Also - PS: please don't feel like you have an obligation to follow me as I go private. I harbor no belief that anyone really really cares to religiously hear what I have to say about my own life, LOL. If we are friends in real life or instagram, you probably get more than enough of me ;). I promise I will not be offended if people don't jump to follow me when I make this blog private.